Thank you so much for this reminder Katherine. I do tend to be very underwhelmed on this day as my husband and kids are not big planners. I will definitely be planning my own day away from my kids for some other weekend, since Sunday holidays generally are not very enjoyable for me being married to a pastor.
As a single mom, I have had very low expectations for Mother’s Day, and have usually spent it honoring my own mother. But now that my son is older, I see him making an effort, even so far as to ask me if I’d like to go out for a meal together, his treat.
That said, I always found it funny that my ex would think I’d want to have my son home for Mother’s Day — when I had him with me 90% of the time. I tried to explain that a truly restful Mother’s Day for most moms would be a day alone.
I am someone who doesn’t participate in Mother’s Day or Father’s Day out of an agreed upon choice made by both me and my husband(and for the record I am the one who brought it up). It’s really hard bc I am absolutely OK with not doing anything, having a regular weekend, but absolutely everyone asks what you did! Or what you are going to do! It’s like I have to take two weeks off from seeing people bc I hate lying to peoples faces about what a wonderful brunch I had, or the sad pathetic looks I get when people assume my husband is terrible bc i honestly say “oh we didn’t do much”.
A friend recently commented that there should be two Mother’s Days: one for moms that are actively parenting young kids or teens and one for moms whose kids are grown up. I could not agree more. Short of that happening on a society level, I’ll be instituting that in my own life and planning a day of rest separate from celebrations with my (loving, caring, wonderful) mom and MIL.
Because my reality and the reality shared by many, many friends across culture, family of origin, and location is that just doesn’t happen.
It is very challenging to both plan a celebration and be celebrated at the same time, especially on a day when everyone else is doing it. Juggling schedules, expectations, and preferences of three women doesn’t give me what I want: space and time to reflect on my experience of mothering and recharge in a satisfying way.
Thank you so much for this reminder Katherine. I do tend to be very underwhelmed on this day as my husband and kids are not big planners. I will definitely be planning my own day away from my kids for some other weekend, since Sunday holidays generally are not very enjoyable for me being married to a pastor.
As a single mom, I have had very low expectations for Mother’s Day, and have usually spent it honoring my own mother. But now that my son is older, I see him making an effort, even so far as to ask me if I’d like to go out for a meal together, his treat.
That said, I always found it funny that my ex would think I’d want to have my son home for Mother’s Day — when I had him with me 90% of the time. I tried to explain that a truly restful Mother’s Day for most moms would be a day alone.
I am someone who doesn’t participate in Mother’s Day or Father’s Day out of an agreed upon choice made by both me and my husband(and for the record I am the one who brought it up). It’s really hard bc I am absolutely OK with not doing anything, having a regular weekend, but absolutely everyone asks what you did! Or what you are going to do! It’s like I have to take two weeks off from seeing people bc I hate lying to peoples faces about what a wonderful brunch I had, or the sad pathetic looks I get when people assume my husband is terrible bc i honestly say “oh we didn’t do much”.
Ugh, these expectations are also annoying! If what works for you go not celebrate it, that is fine
A friend recently commented that there should be two Mother’s Days: one for moms that are actively parenting young kids or teens and one for moms whose kids are grown up. I could not agree more. Short of that happening on a society level, I’ll be instituting that in my own life and planning a day of rest separate from celebrations with my (loving, caring, wonderful) mom and MIL.
I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t the one Mother’s Day we have be celebrating both?
Because my reality and the reality shared by many, many friends across culture, family of origin, and location is that just doesn’t happen.
It is very challenging to both plan a celebration and be celebrated at the same time, especially on a day when everyone else is doing it. Juggling schedules, expectations, and preferences of three women doesn’t give me what I want: space and time to reflect on my experience of mothering and recharge in a satisfying way.
Totally agree and feel the needs of those actively parenting young kids should take precedence