45 Comments
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Katherine Goldstein's avatar

and i hope you all have noted that this newsletter is too long, just as these emails are also too long.

Katherine Goldstein's avatar

😂😂😭😭😭 what got you, was it the organic rat poison?

Rowan TwoSisters's avatar

It was the kinetic sand lol

Virginia Sole-Smith's avatar

100 percent read this assuming it was from my 6 year old's camp and did not clock that it was satire until VERY FAR IN.

Diana Vining Ryan's avatar

Same!

JLL's avatar

The pickup and drop off procedures/times are so deeply relatable. There is a woman who directs the traffic in the pickup line at my kid's camp who strikes TERROR into me daily. Run afoul of her traffic pattern at your OWN PERIL.

Katherine Goldstein's avatar

You better watch yourself missy! this is serious camp traffic patterns!!!!

Nicole Schwartz Navratil's avatar

This is the best, damn funniest thing I’ve read all year.

Thank you

Lane Anderson's avatar

Literally sitting on the floor w my summer calendar rn and this is perfection 😂

Lisa Gray's avatar

Katherine I’m literally laughing so hard I’m crying, the 🤣 emoji doesn’t even begin to do it justice. Maybe a side hustle in standup is in your future?!! Clearly the well meaning but somewhat clueless people who run these camps have never been on the receiving end of these emails.

Genie Gratto's avatar

Also over here with tears running down my face. This is GOLD.

MM's avatar

This is amazing!! So accurate!!!!

AKBB's avatar

This is so accurate. And the opposite end of the spectrum is the no communication camps where you have just a whisper of info on your original sign up confirmation email. From Feb 1

Katherine Goldstein's avatar

I have never had that experience… I envy you

AKBB's avatar

Oh the rules are just as intense, but they are simply not communicated. And you might feel like you imagined that a week of camp was scheduled, perhaps even checking your bank account to confirm it was purchased, but where or when to arrive is a mystery. Very tough for an anxious person managing 3 kids’ schedules!

Katherine Goldstein's avatar

Ugh this also sounds like a nightmare

Diana Vining Ryan's avatar

I’ve had this experience! You wonder, are they still in business? Do we just show up day 1?

Coki Galston's avatar

Literally checked my bank records this morning . . . I DID register for Blast Camp next week but the details remain unknown!

Amy B's avatar

I LOLed at this!

Annie Karabell's avatar

Bahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 “all details change every week”

Anna De La Cruz's avatar

TOO SOON, the trauma is still fresh ;)

CAD's avatar

So realistic I had to double check the sender 😂 and my kid’s main camp option this summer is linked to a Jewish community center so we are asked to send a kosher lunch everyday (they run an amazing camp program and we LOVE it, though we are not Jewish so I need to double check kosher guidelines every summer 😀)

Katherine Goldstein's avatar

as a non-kosher jew I'm glad i could fit this joke in

Morgan C's avatar

Texting all my friends the link and dying laughing.

Katherine Goldstein's avatar

Thanks for sharing it!

Holly Bird's avatar

I started laughing at "a lock of hair of every person in your household" and didn't stop until the very end. Tears shimmered in my eyes as I pressed 'copy link' for every mother I know who is working this summer and facing the Summer Camp Hustle. BRAVO!

Jenna's avatar

I got this post the same day I got the real camp info. Reading on my phone, I thought I would really have to send my kid to camp with body glitter. Hahahahaha. Well done Katherine!