Discover more from The Double Shift
As I was thinking about what the *&#$ I was going to write in this newsletter the day after the election, I came across this excellent post from last month from my friend . She’s the author of the newsletter Real Self Care, and a great book with the same title. As regular readers know, I don’t do lightning-fast “hot-takes” about the news. Today, I’ve pre-scheduled to share Pooja’s newsletter because I think it will resonate with a wide variety of scenarios we find ourselves in on November 6th.
So without further ado, I’ll share this lightly edited and adapted post from Pooja. Don’t forget to breathe.
Pause Before You Scroll
By Dr. Pooja Lakshmin
If you, like me, are one of the 63% of Americans who support a woman’s right to choose, or one of the millions of people who are terrified of Project 2025, then I don’t have to tell you how stressful this election season has been.
So, today I’m writing to you about something as critical as ever: protecting your mental health as we process the election outcome.
We know that social media is already a giant dumpster fire, and we can all anticipate that it’s not going to get better anytime soon.
I want you to protect your peace during this overwhelming time.
The urge to doomscroll is probably going to continue between now and the inauguration (and beyond). In my book, Real Self-Care, I talk about The Pause, which means setting a boundary between you and what’s going on around you. Whether you’re dealing with a noisy co-worker, a demanding parent, or a toxic algorithm, the first step to creating your boundary is to pause before you react.
When it comes to social media, this means The Pause should come before you make the choice to open the app or pick up your phone, which, yes, is easier said than done — but it can be done with some extra reminders.
Today, I want you to put a sticky note on your desk or on your iPhone home screen that says: PAUSE BEFORE YOU SCROLL. Heck, put it on the steering wheel of your car and tape it to your water bottle.
We know that social media algorithms are designed to keep us glued to our screens. Literally, it’s in their operating systems. But, in order to be an engaged citizen, I promise you— you really don’t need to be on social media constantly.
When I tell my patients to log off social media to protect their mental health, they sometimes say: “But Dr. Lakshmin, I feel guilty for burying my head in the sand.” My response: mindfully limiting your media intake is not burying your head in the sand — it’s strategically protecting your peace. And, you are allowed to make that choice without guilt.
Put a sticky note on your desk or on your iPhone home screen that says:
PAUSE BEFORE YOU SCROLL.
Give yourself the gift of The Pause and ask yourself: Why you are opening Instagram/Twitter/TikTok in the first place? Are you just bored? Are you looking for a dopamine hit? Are you avoiding writing that hard email and looking for an escape? Are you standing in line for coffee and don’t know where to look, so you automatically pull out your phone?
Look, I get it. The tiny powerful machines in our pockets hold the world in our hands. When we feel burdened by the monotony or the stress of our own lives, it’s natural to want an escape. AND — honestly, in the near future, social media is likely not going to be the safe or breezy escape you hope for it to be.
To be clear, we would all benefit from a device detox even outside of election season. But I’m writing this to you today because I know that the volume and intensity of news and opinions online aren’t going anywhere. I know that my patients will be more stressed and more fearful about what’s around the corner. You are at higher risk of being exposed to something toxic, triggering, or that just ruins your mood for the day or even the week.
You already know exactly how much is on the line for this election. You do not need to be at the mercy of the internet.
Remember: Your world is bigger than your phone.
xo,
Pooja
Advice from Pooja –Things to do instead of scrolling:
Breathe. Literally. Are you breathing?
Read a book. My friend and psychiatrist Dr. Jessi Gold’s book, How Do You Feel? One Doctor’s Search for Humanity in Medicine is fantastic! You can always use a library card to do this for free.
Keep a pocket Sudoku or crossword puzzle book with you.
Carry a bag of yarn with you so you can knit on the subway instead of scrolling.
Listen to a podcast or your favorite album2
Carry your sunglasses so you can avert your eyes when you feel socially awkward in line so you don’t reach for your phone.
Double Shifters, I’d love to hear from you. What are you doing instead of scrolling right now?!?!
Hard to not talk about election news but I'll stick to the prompt!
This is kind of a cheat because it's still the phone, but I only have three options for "I'm bored on the bus": podcasts, the New Yorker app, and a few email newsletters (thanks to you and your recommendations!). These options need a bit more attention than can be provided in tiny chunks of time, which facilitates (doesn't cure) the urge to pull out the phone for those ~1-3 min waiting periods, like the grocery store line. So each day has a mix of healthy boredom and in-depth analysis. At home I listen to podcasts and read the physical New Yorker and sometimes books. These sources also represent almost all of my news consumption...mostly higher-level analysis, not "here's what happened today," and I'm usually a week or two behind. This slight remove helps me to not get caught up in nonstop daily drama, which will no doubt ramp back up to 11 in the Trump-II era :(
I’ve stuck to podcasts and NY Times this week and tried to stay completely off social media (with the exception of our awesome Slack community at Chamber of Mothers that’s provided some great support). I have found the in-depth analysis to be a balm to my initial despair. There were SO many factors making it an uphill battle for Harris, and her defeat does not necessarily mean half our country hates women, it’s much more complex than that. As hard as it is, the more we can look at this objectively and not from an emotional standpoint, we can actually start diagnosing the issues more effectively and ensure we do better next time. And social media is all emotion right now!!