16 Outrageously Easy Ways to Get to Know Your Neighbors
Seriously, these will work.
How cool is this? My work on problems with summer in America was featured in the NYTimes! When you support my work with a paid membership, you allow me to do the research and reporting that helps shape national conversations! PS. I’m proud to let my kids “rot” with unstructured time this summer. 😂
I have to be honest that I have mixed feelings about this pretty cheerful post given how concerned I am about Trump’s dictator move of deployment of troops in Los Angeles, and what the larger implications of that are going to be for this country. I’ll be attending a peaceful No Kings Rally on June 14th, with many locations nationally if you’d like to join in. This is definitely not a newsletter for hot takes on politics, but I actually do think my work is political. Maybe getting to know your neighbors feels like a trivial action in the face of everything going on in the world, but I’d argue it’s not a distraction: it’s the slow, important work of building a better world. My research shows me that knowing and building trust with your neighbors is actually a very important defensive strategy against all kinds of economic, political, and climate disasters.
Neighborhoods provide some of the easiest potential opportunities for IRL connection because of proximity. Summer is also a great time to get to know neighbors. People are outside more, and gathering in outdoor spaces like parks, sidewalks, people’s yards, or porches is easier. But sometimes we need a little direction about how to build connections with neighbors. Nothing wrong with that! This post will share 16 great ideas I’ve gathered from research, reporting, and YOU, dear readers. (Fabulous suggestions from a chat inspired several of these ideas.) None of these suggestions are complicated, labor-intensive, or expensive. Most of these ideas take almost nothing to get started on. Many would work in a wide variety of neighborhoods, even if you don’t live in one that has any existing sense of community.
Before you get started on building neighbor connections, here are a few quick tips. First, define your “micro neighborhood.” For example, I lived for years in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Park Slope. According to 2022 city data, around 120,000 people live in Park Slope. It’s ridiculous to think I could have gotten to know everyone in that “neighborhood,” therefore, a more realistic micro neighborhood to focus on would have been my building or my street. Once you pick a micro neighborhood like your street, intersection, cul-de-sac, apartment building, or even your apartment building floor, make an effort to introduce yourself to everyone within it. In your quest to get to know people, be consistently friendly and remember people’s names. (This last part can go far in starting bonds.) If talking to strangers freaks you out, don’t forget, I’ve got tips for you!
I talk a lot about communities needing “magnets,” or things that draw people together. One way to get to know people is to make your home a magnet by turning it into a “neighborhood hub.”There are many ways to do this that can appeal to kids and adults. And even if you don’t have young kids, creating spaces for neighborhood kids to play safely can build trust and camaraderie. When a kid is interested in playing or visiting somewhere, it provides an easy way to meet their parents.
Say “Hi” and wave. This is extremely simple but effective. Spend time on your front porch or a shared space like a building courtyard, waving and greeting people.
Keep sidewalk chalk and bubbles around. Kids of all ages can enjoy these cheap items. Tell people or make a sign to let people know they can use them anytime.
Put a bench in your front yard. Reader Julia Kulla-Mader shares that growing up in Los Angeles, “My mom put a park bench in our front yard right next to the street. We met many people who stopped to take a break over the years, and it was pretty fun to live in the bench house. People would use the bench as a meeting spot and for happy hours. What's funny is that this was a very keep-to-yourself LA neighborhood, and the bench worked to get people to socialize.”