This week, I’ve decided to take a break from my self-appointed duties as the nation’s “problems with summer camp” correspondent and bring back my occasional beloved series on a wide range of things that make my life a lil better. None of these are a substitute or solution for a robust social safety net or a society that values care, but they are still fun. Nothing on this list is sponsored, and not all require purchases to experience. Enjoy!
Writer’s Retreats: This April I found a lovely cottage dedicated to writers in rural Virginia, and spent 10-12 hours a day for four days focused on my book proposal. Being able to disengage on the logistical questions of regular life like weekend plans and when the HVAC guy is coming, frees up so much brain space. Not having to cook, clean, care for anyone else or adhere to anyone else’s schedule is amazing for productivity. So many great thinkers who had wives take care of everything for them were really onto something! I got done in four days what would have taken me a month to finish otherwise when spread out between my three jobs and three kids. I’m sure I’ll need more of these retreats in the future to actually write the book, so feel free to send me your recs for your favorite affordable cottages, nooks, and crannies for writing, preferably within 3 hours of Durham, NC! I hope to have book news to share in early fall.
Chores: We have recently gone hard on getting organized about the kids doing chores. I’ve been particularly inspired by some ideas in Never Enough by Jennifer Breheny Wallace and my conversations with Lenore Skenazy about childhood independence. For my oldest, the chores are not tied to allowance, he gets it regardless of whether he does the chores, but none of the kids can watch any screens if their chores aren’t done, which is all the motivation they need. We’ve also zeroed in on tasking them with things that make our lives easier, not just performative busy work. Asher setting the table every night is a big help during the pre-dinner rush, and the twins getting themselves completely dressed on their own in the morning makes for very memorable outfits but an easier start to the day.
Long-Sleeve Swimsuits: This suit from Mott 50 is extremely practical if you care about keeping your sun exposure down and it comes in some cute patterns. I like it for swimming laps or when I’m out with the kids and don’t want to worry about putting my own sunscreen on as I’m chasing them down. The one I have is two years old and has held up great, and I get asked where it’s from at the pool all the time.
New Neighbor Energy: I really like my neighborhood and we have several friends within walking distance, but I didn’t have many strong relationships with my immediate neighbors i.e. the people who’s houses I can see from my front door. That appears to all be changing! I recently got lovely new next-door neighbors, and my friend (and former Double Shift podcast editor!) Anita Rao moved in three doors down!!! I also met a new friend of a friend with a newborn who lives just around the corner. To get to know some of these new neighborhood additions, a longtime neighbor acquaintance organized an evening drinks hangout for the first time, and lo and behold, I’m now co-chairing a block party for later in the summer. I’m very amped about these new connections! Consider this story your excuse to try to get to know your neighbors a little better and see what happens!
Poshmark for Kids Stuff: Perhaps I’m late to the party, but I’ve recently discovered the wonder of Poshmark when I need specific kid’s items and I don’t want to pay full price. I have scored an obscure Lego character costume in the correct size nowhere near Halloween (shout out to any other Sweet Mayhem fans out there) and I also like it for discounts on $45 Native summer shoes or Keen’s sandals that MUST be yellow. Even with shipping it’s cheaper than full price, and I feel better about reusing rather than buying more short-term kids purchases new. Pro-tip: if the seller says they are open to offers, it’s always worth proposing a few dollars off their list price.
Scalp Massager: My hairstylist recommended this and it totally handles scalp buildup and flakes better than any shampoo I’ve ever tried.
For my last two recommendations, I’m doing a real high-brow/low-brow mashup:
Chase Sapphire Airport Lounges: I recently arrived early at La Guardia for a flight to beat traffic, and then found out I had a multi-hour plane delay. I saw a wall ad in the airport for a new Chase Sapphire Lounge in my terminal. I’d never heard of this, but since I have this credit card I wandered in and was completely blown away by the hip, luxurious restaurant/bar/co-working space where all the food, drinks, and (facials?!!) were free. So, I drank wine and ate nicely cooked salmon and kale salad while catching up on emails. I don’t understand how this is financed, so there’s probably a catch somewhere that allows this to be profitable for the credit card company, but in the short term, I will be enjoying these swanky digs whenever I get the chance. They have locations in different airports across the country and are opening more.
Costco Rotisserie Chicken: This is the best item in our weekly grocery buy. It is so much tastier than an average grocery store roast chicken and is endlessly useable in so many different combos throughout the week. The company is open about how they lose money on it but sell it to just get people in the door. If you are meat eater and Costco shopper, do yourself a favor and get on this bandwagon.
In the spirit of fun recommendations, for this week’s members-only conversation, I’ll be starting a chat at noon ET Thursday where everyone can share their favorite things to buy at Costco, the patron saint retailer of my big family. Don’t miss the fun!
I would a lone retreat for myself
Scalp massagers are THE BEST. I have very thick hair and it doesn't feel like it's completely clean unless I use this.
I've been using ThredUp to resale clothes, wondering if Poshmark is better?